Myth #1 – God Doesn’t Care About Your Happiness
“God doesn’t care about your happiness; He cares about your holiness.” Like me, you may have heard this sternly preached a time or two. I assumed it to be true since it’s in opposition to the prosperity gospel, which falsely claims that God’s main priorities are for me to be happy, healthy, and wealthy. Feeling discouraged by this declaration, I began to deconstruct it.
This statement left me with more questions than answers, and it leaves much to be desired by offering a low view of God. I know that God cares about me. The Bible tells me so. If He knows the number of hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30), and He’s near enough to collect my tears as they fall (Psalm 56:8), His care is tender and true. He cares about me more than anyone ever could because He willingly went to the greatest lengths to solve my biggest problem—sin that put me at odds with a holy God. To claim that there’s any area of a Christian’s life that God doesn’t care about is simply untrue.
He’s adopted me as His child. Grafted into His family, my record of sin has been expunged, and I’m robed in His righteousness (Romans 11:17, Isaiah 61:10). I can’t think of anything happier!
There are various ideals of happiness, and worldly ones often revolve around temporary pleasures. God’s presence, in contrast, provides pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11). Any pleasure we experience in this life is a mercy and a foretaste of what’s to come when we are with Jesus forever. One gift that offers a glimpse of glory is marriage.
You may have also heard that, “Marriage isn’t for your happiness, it’s for your holiness.” This phrase seems to imply that happiness in marriage is not permissible and not be expected. Marriage was created as a gift mirroring the ultimate marriage, the wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7). Our earthly marriages are stained by sin, yet the reality of a truer and better one gives us great hope, an essential element of Christian happiness. Our ultimate union with Christ will culminate in unspeakable joy.
Myth #2 – Happiness and Holiness Are Mutually Exclusive
Happiness and holiness ought never to be mutually exclusive for those in Christ, as holiness is God’s pathway to happiness. God commands us to be holy as He is (Leviticus 11:44). Knowing that sinners aren’t capable of this on their own, He offered His only Son in our place. He seals us with His Spirit, who helps us love and obey Him. Not only has God secured our happiness, He is our best and truest source of it.
Holiness, the state of being set apart, cultivates ultimate happiness. We don’t practice holiness to be saved; we practice holiness because we are saved. It’s a response of worship, in awe of our beautiful Savior. Pitting holiness against happiness makes it seem like a begrudging pursuit motivated by duty, devoid of delight. Growing in holiness is evidence of God’s Spirit at work in us, transforming us from one degree of glory to the next (2 Corinthians 3:18). Our sanctification ought to compel our happiness as it’s proof that God keeps His promises (Philippians 1:6).
Myth #3 – Christians Can’t Feel Happy
The happiness/holiness conundrum makes it seem that it is sinful for Christians to feel happy. We can feel happy while remembering that the happiness God desires for us extends beyond emotions. Obedience is often costly, and while we won’t always feel happy as we obey, doing so is investing in our ultimate happiness. God doesn’t just want us to feel happy; He wants us to be happy. Obedience won’t always produce happy feelings, but it produces ultimate happiness as it conforms us to Christ. Feeling happy isn’t wrong in and of itself, but as sinners living in a broken world, we all experience limitations to our happy feelings.
The things that make us feel happy have their limits too. When we demand that those things do more for us than they were made to, they quickly become idols, and idolatry, rather than leading to our delight, leads to our destruction. Without God as the object of our happiness, the cycle of being disappointed by idols will continue.
Experiencing happiness in Him may start with a feeling and produce feelings, but it doesn’t end there. The happiness He offers in Himself transcends fleeting feelings. It’s deeply rooted in God, our exceeding joy (Psalm 43:4), whose character doesn’t change even when our circumstances do (Hebrews 13:8).
Any unhappiness we experience in this life is rooted in sin—our own or the effects of someone else’s. Knowing that Jesus has the final victory over sin ought to increase our affection for Him and thus our happiness. This doesn’t mean that we don’t also feel other emotions simultaneously. Living in a broken world, our happiness is incomplete because we aren’t yet residents of our ultimate Home.
Like Paul, we frequently find ourselves sorrowful yet always rejoicing (2 Corinthians 6:10). Living in that tension, we have a God who is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and remains faithful to us regardless of how we feel. He is intimately acquainted with His children to the point that His Son became one to redeem us. This is precious proof that God cares about our happiness and our holiness: He Himself is the source of both.
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