“Are you getting enough time away from the kids?” A sweet sister in Christ recently asked me this at a party. We were the only family present with young children, and my toddler son was running rampant. “I don’t know how much time is enough,” I replied, “but thank you for seeing me and for asking.”
Her caring question stuck with me as I loaded my kids into our minivan. Although far removed from my season, her words stood in stark contrast to the ones that many mothers of young children, myself included, generally receive:
It’s just a season.
Having once falsely believed that motherhood is a godly woman’s highest calling, I now know that a godly woman’s highest calling is to love God with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love her neighbor as herself (Luke 10:27). Some of my nearest neighbors are my children, and the call for me to die to self most often manifests itself in caring for them.
I’m stuck somewhere between being a mom who’s miscarried and feels increasingly grateful for my children, and a mom experiencing the monotony of daily mothering. Sometimes things take an exciting turn like the times (yes, times) my son played in his poop and wiped it all over his crib, the walls, and himself. Or there were the two summers in a row when my kids took turns getting Pink Eye. It is just a season, but knowing this doesn’t make it easier.
It is just a season, but it is one that, like every other, is occurring in a sin stained world. It is just a season, and it is one that is uniquely consuming in all that it requires mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is just a season, but it’s one with constant, abundant investment and years of waiting to discover if it will yield any return. It is just a season, but this season ending isn’t a guarantee that an easier one is coming. It is just a season, yet our hope can’t be in a different one because tomorrow isn’t promised (Proverbs 27:1).
Rather than receiving this apathetic platitude, which adds to discouragement as it offers no tangible help, I wonder how mothers with young children would flourish by being presented with God’s promises.
He gently leads those with young (Isaiah 40:11). We are robed in His righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). He is always with us (Matthew 28:20). His Spirit prays for us (Romans 8:26). Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39). He is finishing the good work He’s started in us (Philippians 1:6). He generously gives wisdom to all who ask and does so without reproach (James 1:5). He gives us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).
Being told, “It’s just a season,” while meant to be encouraging, minimizes the labor and limits this season requires. As those who love Christ, we need never do this because He doesn’t. He is our great High Priest who sympathizes with us in our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). In fact, it is through them that His power is made perfect in us (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Rather than saying “It’s just a season” I wonder how mothers would become more like Jesus if common responses included, “How can I serve and/or encourage you?” or “How can I be praying for you?” or “What evidences of grace have you recently experienced?” or “How do you stay close to Christ in the chaos?” or “Are you getting enough time away from the kids?”
Being told “It’s just a season” also minimizes the beauty and blessings that accompany motherhood. It is just a season, and it’s also an incredibly precious gift. It’s the newborn smell, the chunky baby thighs, the tiny feet, the first time you hear your baby laugh, seeing them hit milestones, and feeling deep appreciation because you know what it took to achieve them.
It’s hearing your toddler sing Jesus Loves Me and your kindergartener ask questions about God. It’s seeing your big kid reading the Bible on their own and praying that the seeds of faith take root and bear fruit. It’s watching your kids do harder things than you ever had to and praising God that they are much braver and more resilient than you are.
The apostle Paul saw life on earth as a season, and he certainly wasn’t unaware of its difficulties. Being no stranger to hardship, he found that, “. . . this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,” (2 Corinthians 4:17). Whatever hardships we may be experiencing, regardless of what season we’re in, they are not even worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us when Jesus returns (Romans 8:18).
It is true that mothering young children is a short season, and it’s also true that it’s so much more. While we aren’t promised easier earthly seasons, we can rejoice knowing that better days are, indeed, ahead. Each season comes with blessings and burdens, yet our hope is never in changing seasons but in our unchanging Savior (Hebrews 13:8).
