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My husband recently encouraged me to watch Netflix’s three part docuseries Death of the Pastor’s Wife. The title alone made me hesitant. I wasn’t sure if watching would be wise for me, but at the encouragement of my husband and multiple biblical counselors, I watched it. The series’ subject is Mica Miller, a woman who was groomed and abused to the point of taking her own life by her pastor, who later became her husband. While I was initially unsure about watching Death of the Pastor’s Wife, watching became one small way I felt I could dignify Mica’s life and legacy.
Mica’s story is unique in some ways, but sadly, it’s not uncommon. Throughout the series, Scripture was abused to the point that it cost lives. One of my biggest takeaways from the film is the desperate need to know and rightly handle the Bible (2 Timothy 2:15) as a means of loving God and neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40). Here are five reasons from Death of the Pastor’s Wife as to why we need to know the Bible:
1. Knowing the Bible Helps Us Know God’s Heart for Women
The Bible’s primary purpose is that we might come to know Jesus, the Word made flesh (John 1:14). He is also called the Word of God (Revelation 19:13), meaning that we can know Jesus by knowing and treasuring the Bible. In knowing and treasuring it, we learn early on that God made women in His image (Genesis 1:27). The angel of the LORD, whom many believe to be Christ in preincarnate form, first appeared to a woman (Genesis 16:7). On reading the accounts of famous women from the Old Testament, like Tamar, Rahab, and Bathsheba, our first inclination may be to cringe and condemn. Yet these women are three of the five included in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:5-7), which is especially striking, as women were often excluded from genealogies in ancient times.
Women were the first to see Jesus resurrected (Matthew 28:1-10). The Philippian church was established when a woman converted to Christianity (Acts 16:14-15), and the New Testament’s household codes were countercultural in their treatment of women, revealing that God has always valued and cherished His daughters. These are a few of many examples of the women featured in Scripture, and they clearly demonstrate that women have always been essential to God’s kingdom. Knowing the Bible helps us know God’s heart for women, and as we read it, the Holy Spirit helps shape our hearts to view and cherish them the way He does.
2. Knowing the Bible Helps Us Take Sin Seriously
Only three chapters into Scripture, sin entered the world. Sin is disobedience to God. It is falling short of His standard which is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). God forgave the first sinners, Adam and Eve, and He offers forgiveness to all who forsake their sin and trust in Jesus as the only way to have a restored relationship with Him (John 14:6, Romans 10:9). God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), and forgiveness doesn’t mean exemption from sin’s consequences (2 Samuel 12:13-14).
The Bible is clear that pastors are held to higher standards (James 3:1), and all Christians are to be held accountable for their sin. Certain sins, including abuse, require a swifter initiation of consequences. The Bible commands our submission to laws so long as those laws don’t require disobedience to God (Acts 5:29, Romans 13:1-2, 1 Peter 2:13-14), making it imperative that we heed them by reporting abuse immediately. The practice of church discipline provides parameters for approaching abuse regardless of whether it’s legally punishable (Matthew 18:15-17). We do well to remember that church discipline occurs alongside reporting abuse and is never a replacement for reporting. And neglecting to confront certain types of abuse because they are not punishable by law is a low standard, especially for Christians. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil (Psalm 34:16), and in honoring Him, our faces must be too.
Sin is so serious that it cost Jesus His life, and we make a mockery of the gospel when we don’t take it seriously. Treating image bearers in any way that strips them of dignity and respect is antithetical to who God is. Using Scripture to justify abuse is unquestionably wicked, and knowing the Bible helps us know that this is never acceptable. God’s word must never be used in ways that don’t align with His character.
3. Knowing the Bible Helps Us Know Who’s Qualified to Pastor
Shortly after watching Death of the Pastor’s Wife, my husband started listening to the audiobook Bully Pulpit. As he’s been listening, he reminded me that most of the qualifications for pastors are based on character (1 Timothy 3:1-7). The abuser in the series became a pastor solely because he wanted to, not because he was qualified. After some of his sin patterns came to light, the church leadership did not enact church discipline of any kind, making those who should’ve held the abuser accountable also disqualified.
Sadly, the abuser continues “pastoring” a small congregation. Had the church leadership taken God’s word seriously, they would’ve removed the “pastor” from his position immediately when warned about his actions. It is devastating knowing that someone who was never qualified to pastor continues “shepherding” to the detriment of the sheep.
4. Knowing the Bible Helps Us Not Use Scripture Simplistically
One point in the film shows Mica in a Facebook video asking, “God hates divorce, but how does He feel about abuse?” Mica’s observation is a wake up call to Christians, as it reveals our tendency to use Scripture simplistically. Doing so, ironically, often compounds suffering. It is commonly believed that God hates divorce and, therefore, it is a sin. Yet the Bible reveals that God doesn’t desire divorce, and He has made provision for it. The verse often used to support the idea that God hates divorce is Malachi 2:16.
According to scholar, theologian, seminary professor, and pastor Iain Duguid, “The Hebrew is undoubtedly difficult here . . . It’s hard to see how you get ‘I hate divorce’ out of the Hebrew, except by emending the text as some modern versions do . . . It’s not an impossible reading, but it’s not in my view the most likely.” Malachi 2:16 was addressing men who were divorcing their wives to marry women who worshiped false gods. These men were forsaking their marriage covenants, leaving their first wives destitute, and abandoning God. Divorcing in this manner for this reason meant these men were not pursuing holiness.
I appreciate pastor and theologian Kevin DeYoung honestly articulating, “Is every divorce the product of sin? Yes. Is every divorce therefore sinful? No . . . in some Old Testament texts . . . the Lord divorced his people . . . if the Lord can divorce his adulterous spouse, then divorce must not always be wrong.” (To answer the question “Is physical abuse grounds for divorce?” see Jared C. Wilson’s eponymously titled blog post and Russell Moore’s blog post, Divorcing an Abusive Spouse is Not A Sin.)
Understanding that our English translations of Scripture don’t always easily communicate what its original languages did demonstrates our need to mine its depths and refrain from using it simplistically. When we use Scripture, it is imperative that we consider its many layered contexts, authorial intent, and original audiences before applying it. We also need to consider Scripture’s emphases, priorities, and overall counsel in appealing to its authority. As the series demonstrated multiple times, lives literally depend on it.
5. Knowing the Bible Helps Us Not Weaponize the Word
While the word is sharper than a weapon (Hebrews 4:12), we’re never instructed to weaponize it against each other. Death of the Pastor’s Wife featured multiple sermon segments of the abuser weaponizing Scripture to place burdens on wives that God never does. At one point, he taught wives, “If you don’t meet your husband’s sexual needs, Satan will put 20 different options before his eyes before the day’s over with.” It broke my heart to read comments about this online from non Christians who believe that this is what the Bible teaches.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 actually says, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Here husbands are addressed first, and spouses are to serve one another. The word “agreement,” which many English versions of the Bible translate as “mutual consent,” reveals that both spouses possess agency. Later in 1 Corinthians, Paul instructed, “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Corinthians 10:24). A marriage characterized by Christ isn’t one where a spouse’s primary concern is having their desires fulfilled, but one where spouses outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10).
It seems that Bible verses addressing wives are constantly emphasized to the neglect of Scripture’s serious charges to husbands. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. In Ephesians 5:28, husbands are commanded to love their wives as their own bodies. They’re also to live with their wives in an understanding way and honor them, a command so serious that their prayers are hindered when they don’t heed it (1 Peter 3:7). The purpose of Christian marriages is to reflect the tender, sacrificial love Jesus has for His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:25-32).
When husbands love their wives well, it is a beautiful witness to who Jesus is and what He’s done for His people. In having all authority in heaven and on earth, and in being Lord, Jesus never once lorded Himself over His bride. He laid His life down for her. What a compelling witness to the world. How could we not desire to worship Him considering who He is and what He’s done? How could we not expend every effort to mitigate abuse? How could we not be compelled to obedience in rightly handling the word of truth?
Knowing that a secular film company saw the abuse and injustices in Mica Miller’s story to the point that they were compelled to take action breaks my heart. As Christians, we should be leading the charge when it comes to taking sin seriously. We have a responsibility to know and cherish the Bible, an endeavor that is both weighty and worthwhile. Since watching Death of the Pastor’s Wife, one question haunts me: “Does knowing the Bible save lives?” I sincerely believe we owe it to Mica and abuse victims and survivors everywhere to find out.
“On our own, no matter what we make of ourselves, death always writes the epitaph: dispensable. But when your life is hidden with Christ? When your name is graven not on a headstone that will crumble or even a building that will be replaced, but on his hands? Then God the justifier looks on you and says: worthy. Not an inch short of my glory. Facing death with honesty, you have to ask, what is the value of my life if it ends like this? Joined with Christ, the righteous one, God looks on you and answers: pleasing to me and therefore precious.” Matthew McCullough – Remember Death
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