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I received After Church Hurt compliments of New Growth Press in exchange for my honest review.
After Church Hurt is the debut title by counseling pastor Timothy St. John. The book is a fantastic read for anyone who’s departed a spiritually abusive church and/or is healing from church hurt. I didn’t necessarily expect that the stories in the book would be easy to read, but I was surprised that they hit so close to home. The book begins with a few stories about men being addressed due to wearing the wrong shoes to church. This took me back to when my husband, who hadn’t grown up in the church and was a new believer, was invited to a teacher training program at a church we once attended.
After his first training session, I asked what kind of feedback he received and was surprised to hear that one of the church’s elders told him his shoes were distracting. I remember feeling angry and asking how that mattered in light of 1 Samuel 16:7. At the time, I assumed I was in the wrong for thinking that way. It scared me a little bit to read that multiple others have also shared this odd and controlling experience. I was a bit nervous to keep reading the book after learning of these situations, but I couldn’t put it down and ended up finishing it (excluding the appendices) in a day.
What I deeply appreciate about After Church Hurt is that St. John encourages those who are hurt to take the time needed to work toward proper healing. He appeals to Scripture early and often as essential to the healing process. He also offers an abundance of wisdom for those walking with spiritual siblings who are hurting in the aftermath of church hurt. He also helps readers see and define God’s character through the lens of Scripture rather than experience/circumstances. Pages 72-75 provide five bullet points with ideas to consider when leaving a church. This was very hard for me to read, as all five points were markers of our last church, but I’m so grateful for this section’s inclusion in the book. I hope it will give others the wisdom and encouragement they need to leave if they find themselves at a spiritually abusive church.
Overall, this book is incredibly helpful in processing through church hurt/spiritual abuse biblically. It encourages readers with the hope of the gospel and God’s heart for them in Christ. Both appendices are extremely valuable. The first one helps readers work through emotions they may encounter as they process church hurt. This encouraged me, as the culture at our last church seemed to have an underlying belief that emotions are bad. St. John encourages readers not to be mastered by their emotions, but to bring them to God and consider what they reveal. The second appendix is a Church Culture Assessment that includes multiple questions to consider if you are looking for a new church after spiritual abuse/church hurt.
Earlier in the book, St. John made a point similar to something my husband and I learned the hard way—a church is more than its doctrinal statement. While sound doctrine should always be a priority, having an orthodox doctrinal statement doesn’t automatically equate to a church culture that is centered on Christ. I’m grateful for St. John’s wisdom in helping readers discern this. I firmly believe that After Church Hurt will be a resource God uses to heal His wounded sheep. For years, I’ve struggled with the long-lasting scars of spiritual abuse, and I’m grateful for how this book has given me hope in the healing process. I’m sad that this book is necessary, yet so grateful it exists, and believe it’s worth every penny. If you or someone you know is healing from church hurt, this book is a must-read.
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